I’m Not a Doctor, But “Proctology” Is Just a Funny Word

September 2nd, 2009

No small part of Elvis Costello’s rebellious period aged as gracefully as the man himself (just ask his first and second wives about the time the gems on their hands started to glow).  “I Want You” sends you ’round Dark Pl. via Spooky Ln. and across The Line Blvd. when you’re 19 because that rage still causes your toes to tingle.

At a certain age, that rage seeps from your system and you’re mostly left with a vague Ghost O’Marley sense of indigestion and a minor ocular muscle sprain from the eyerolling at the dumbass drama queen of a boy carrying on about the woman who found her good taste in men a bit late but not too much so.

At that point (or right around the time you see Elvis Costello whip through a 90-minute set with no encores to hurry to the next gig), you have a bit more trouble tapping into whatever drew you into a teenage riot lo those many years ago.

Fiona Apple helped revive the song awhile back when VH1 (remember when they appealed to old people?) hooked Fiona up with Elvis (much to Diana Krall’s consternation; she’s seen this film from the other side of the camera) to recall Sinead O’Connor’s service to Prince on “Nothing Compares 2 U”.

She finds a second reading of the song that, frankly, the song doesn’t deserve and chills you to those now-numb toes.  You’re pretty sure that you should, you know, call into VH1 and get someone to take that nice Apple girl home to make sure nothing felonious happens and everyone’s rabbits stay unboiled.

But we’re not here to laud the song or the singer.  We’re here to talk about the little boy who’s fucked.

Read the rest of this entry »

If I Do It Again, I Get a Whoopin’

September 14th, 2008

I did it again.

Highlights include a 33-year-old high school cheerleader, a philandering minor-leaguer, and a cheating primer.  We also completed our own little bit of journalism wherein we listen to Jessica Simpson sing.

As always, our SPORTSbyBROOKS content appears on the right.  Look for a very special podcast next weekend and perhaps a bit of blogfoolery.

UPDATE: Hells yeah.

 

So That Happened.

August 25th, 2008

We were busy last weekend.

We really enjoyed talking to Lindsey Dolich, even though we had to speak ill of her employer in the same breath.  We marked the scourge of Barry Bonds, enjoyed a basketball game greatly, and wondered aloud about Jessica Simpson.  We also indulged ourselves more than a bit.  

In the interest of full disclosure, we also were kind of an idiot.

Then we closed out with Allan Sherman, which all good weekends should.

Thanks to all of you that checked in with tips, comments, and encouraging words.  We’ll take that every weekend and twice on Sundays.  We’ll check in later this week with news about our next liveblog.  Excelsior!

It’s Not the Heat Because We Have Air Conditioning

August 16th, 2008

We’re back.

We just dropped a four-spot on SPORTSbyBROOKS and will return tomorrow for more tasty tidbits about Beijing bound to give you the revenge of Confucius.  Also, we did a drop (radio term!) for the Treehouse Fort last week and snuggled a piece or two into the Big Tilde family of posts during our absence. All of this can be spotted on the right, as per the norm.

We may try to post a few items during the next week, but that’s to be determined.  We’re a fair blogger, but this fucking heat is making us absolutely crazy.

Finally, we don’t think we’re giving too much away at this point to note that next weekend will involve posting for our new gig.  You may have heard something about it.

Thanks to all for your patience; we’ll get this fridge chilled to the appropriate extremity-threatening temperature shortly.

The rare Hampton spotted in the wild

August 10th, 2008

Spotted in the on-deck circle just before spontaneously combusting.

Where’s Tuffy?

July 25th, 2008

Oh, you know; just hangin’ with J.D. Salinger.  Kickin’ it.

Sorry about the Ice Machine’s disappearance; we had to take it back to the store.  Apparently, you have to feed it water to make the ice.  That seems an awful lot like work to us.

Also, we’re undergoing a few changes around these parts.  For example, these aren’t going to be our parts for long.  We’re taking a new job and moving across the country in the next few days.  Therefore, we’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from blogging.  However, we’ll be back soon enough.  (After all, we’ve got Deadspin duty in August.)  

What will this mean for your friendly neighborhood blog-slinger?  More weekends, probably, and fewer weekday gigs.  It also probably means a different focus for this here blog.  The Ice Machine came about from leftover links from daily SPORTSbyBROOKS searches.  We won’t have as many of those anymore, so no more Ice Machine.  (Told you it sounded like work.)

That’s all TBD, though.  We’re still sorting all of this out (not to mention the cross-country caravan et al).  Until then, you can still find us in a few watering holes.  We’ll be posting to The Big Tilde soon enough.  We’ve been doing podcasts; there’s one more tonight before we take a couple weeks off from that as well.  We also did another Voodoo Sabermetrics for Babes Love Baseball today.  (Please check this out; this feature is one of our favorite writing tasks.)  Our Twitter gets the occasional quick hit as well.

Thank you for your patience; we’ll be back up and snarking soon enough.  Stay tuned, true believers!

P.S. We love videos.

We’re Worried About You, Tuffy: #87 in a Series

July 1st, 2008

Ice Machine’s still busted, but we did a very silly thing today in a different place.  

Ice Machine – Tin Roof Rusted?

June 30th, 2008

Ice Machine’s busted.  (Not the site, just the feature.)  Moose out front should’ve told ya.

No word on when it will return.  Until then, we posted a lot on SPORTSbyBROOKS over the weekend (and did two very silly pieces today) and will have a very special treat or two tomorrow, including actually showing up for a podcast.

Ice Machine – Melty McMelterson

June 25th, 2008

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (where the heat lamp is on):

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lG9F3bN5kY]
Our Question of the Day (flame-broiled your way): Will our Derrick Rose jersey make us look fat?

Ice Machine – Home Ice Advantage

June 24th, 2008

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (wherein you share a corned beef sammich with the dog):

    [youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=5XRisBy7k70]
    • And now… just on so many levels, missing the point with the counterpoint (don’t listen for long; we need you back tomorrow):
    [youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=CgC6amzVnt4]
    • In other news, we’re old.  We’re so very, very old.
    Our Question of the Day (just before naptime): Do you remember when they used to show baseball during the day?  Yeah, that would be useful right about now.