You will be vilified. AT&T.

October 28th, 2007 by Tuffy Posted in baseball, mlb |

“Hi, I’m Scott Boras. I was born in California and have my headquarters in Newport Beach. I went to school in Sacramento… hey, Prof, did you see this loophole in your syllabus? It entitles me to an A or your job, so maybe we can work out an agreement…”

“I’m constantly texting or calling my clients and prospective employers all over the globe to railroad, blackmail, or threaten physical harm to get my clients the best deals possible. Tom Hicks still tears up and runs from the room when he sees my number in caller ID.”

“I have clients in Anaheim, Chicago, Boston, Texas, and Japan as well as places in-between. I like to appear in World Series reports in Denver… hey, Ken baby… and prefer to mess with Bud Selig on draft day in lower Manhattan so I can see the new shade of red Bud Selig turns every time a first rounder holds out for three months and gets Dombrowski to pay the going rate anyway.”

“So I need a network that works where I live, a place called NewSacAnaAsPanColorFuckYouBudo.”