Why We Watch - 2008 Texas Rangers

February 27th, 2008 by Tuffy Posted in baseball, mlb, why we watch |

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

I’m a Goddamn Marvel of Modern Science

You’re Frank Catalanotto.  You’ve got a great shot at a starting slot in left field for a major league ballclub at the age of 34.  Admittedly, it doesn’t promise to be a successful year for the team, but it ought to be a fine season for you.  You trot out to a standing ovation for your Texas Rangers for your home opener.  How fantastic, right?

You glance to your left to see who will be protecting this well-kept ground with you today and you see Josh Hamilton.  Yes, that Josh Hamilton.  The one that spent 2002-2005 with “undisclosed off-field problems” that came in smokable, ingestible, and injectable forms and led to an indefinite suspension from his only viable place of employment.  You were pretty happy for the guy when he was scooped up by the Reds from the Cubs in the Rule 5 Draft last season and crushed the ball.  I mean, hey, there but for the grace of God, right?

But now he’s right over there to your left and he’s got a pretty wild-eyed look to him and you’re not really sure where this guy’s gonna be from play to play, much less September.  You swallow hard.

Then you keep looking past Hamilton and you see this massive human being that walks with a bit of a limp.  When you realize it’s Milton Bradley, you’re not sure if the limp is from his right ACL tear or the weight distribution from the massive chip on his right shoulder.  He’s got a full deck of incentives in his contract to stay healthy and not attack every authority figure perceived to be in his way, but you’re not completely positive he’s playing with all those cards shuffled in.

Sure, dude wants to win, but he wants to win his way or the highway.  You can kinda see the highway from here for him.  You move a little closer to the left field foul line.

Better keep an eye on this outfield, you think; anything could happen.  The first crack of the bat of the season rifles through your ears and you turn your attention to the ball.

Life’s Unfair, So Suck It Up

Álex Rodríguez (age 32; 13 years MLB service) - 518 HR, 265 SB, .967 OPS, $32m in 2009

Michael Young (age 31; 6 years MLB service) - 103 HR, 59 SB, .795 OPS, $16m in 2009

No pressure, Mikey; we’ll be watching.

Okay, A Little Pressure

Not only was that unfair to Michael Young if for no other reason than Alex Rodriguez’s move to third base to protect the legacy of Derek Jeter, but there’s a very good chance Young will be peeking behind him when he gets that huge raise next year.  Standing behind Young and flicking his ear mercilessly is a glove fiend by the name of Elvis Andrus.  (Don’t worry; there won’t be any name puns.  What would you even do with ‘Andrus’, anyway?  Roman bath puns?)

If Andrus learns to hit major league pitching, he could be a top-tier shortstop. Even if he doesn’t, he’ll still be major league quality.  Of course, GM Jon Daniels probably can’t convince anyone to dump Young for the unproven youngster and may not even want to do so.  Therefore, Elvis could be packing his bags in return for pitching.

Ha Ha.  No, Seriously.  Where’s the Real List?

Pitching, you see, might be a little problem for the Rangers for the 87th consecutive season.  If you love offense, be sure to catch as many Rangers games as possible.  If you love it when the Rangers score more runs than their opponents, you may want to turn your head for a moment:

Rangers Starting Rotation

1. Kevin Millwood (already injured)
2. Vincente Padilla (5.76 ERA in 2007)
3. Jason Jennings (6.45 ERA in 2007)
4. Brandon McCarthy (ERA under 5 last season and an Irrational Favorite of the Refrigerator Logic editorial team; best of luck, son)
5. You’re still reading the list?  You have a bad case of schaudenfreude or masochism.

There’s pitching in the low minors on the way, but it won’t be putting its tray up or locking its seat in the upright position in 2008.  It’ll be entertaining for those who like pinball baseball, but elegance will not be the Rangers’ forte this season.

But Hey…

¡ Viva El Presidente Nolan Ryan!  That’s good, right?  Right?

On a Positive Note

The Rangers’ new closer, C.J. Wilson, has a very healthy pastime he worked on during the offseason.

Favorite quotes from the piece:

“It’d be like someone coming in and trying to hit off my fastball.”  - Gotta like that!  You want your closers to hate losing and have a competitive fire in everything they do.

“I’ll have more time to practice in the offseason.” - Okay, that’s good, too.  He’s willing to put in long hours to succeed. And what’s wrong with extended Guitar Hero sessions, anyway?

Oh.  Well.  Good luck with that.