Why We Watch - 2008 Los Angeles Dodgers

February 14th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

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The Juan Pierre Puzzler

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Though there’s no obvious proof, we’ve always suspected Joe Torre hid a dark secret from the New York press for his entire tenure as Yankees manager. Now that he serves another team in another league in a quiet backwater media market like Los Angeles, he’ll be able to express his love for a Boston institution: Car Talk.

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It’s easy to imagine Joe chuckling to the very self-amused NPR mechanic-philosophers on his drive to Yankee Stadium each Sunday morning. Oh, those wacky fellows really know what it’s like to be a guy, y’know? And they’re brothers that pick on each other but love each other in the end. Joe can relate.

However, as Joe drives into Holman Stadium this spring to manage his new wards, he may notice a new Puzzler that seems awfully familiar.

“Hey, Tommy… do you remember last week’s Puzzler?”
“Of course I do, Ray!”
“What is it?”
“The Puzzler is that I can never remember last week’s Puzzler!”
(45 seconds of chortling)
“Okay, Tommy, here’s last week’s Puzzler: why wouldn’t you want Jeff Kent, Juan Pierre, and Nomar Garciaparra to start 130 games for your baseball team?”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, that’s last week Puzzler. I remembered!”
(30 seconds of guffaws)
“Okay… why wouldn’t I want Jeff Kent, Juan Pierre, and Nomar Garciaparra to start 130 games for my baseball team?”
“That’s right.”
“Hmm. Is it because I want them to start 162 games?”
“HA! God no.”
“Huh. Okay. (pause) I have the answer to this week’s Puzzler, Ray!”
“What is it, Tommy?”
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Posted in baseball, mlb, why we watch | 2 Comments »

Chicago Cubs Victim of Theft; Carl Crawford Produces Alibi

February 14th, 2008 by Tuffy

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Three Chicago Cubs players were victims of a burglary suspect who is accused of stealing from several Mesa businesses over almost a four month span, police said…. The Cub players were pitcher Jeff Samardzija, catcher Jake Fox and outfielder Tyler Colvin. Police said all three players had personal items stolen, which included checkbooks, cell phones and credit cards.”

Considering Samardzija’s contract, I think this falls under “turnabout is fair play”. Still, the three victims probably don’t find it terribly amusing, so the best to them after an unsettling invasion into their privacy that even Baseball America would be ashamed of.

Still, you have to hand it to the mastermind behind this daring theft; he really knows how to choose his victims.

“[The moron] was also accused of stealing from the Save the Family Foundation … on Oct. 19, 2007, police said.”

Strike my last.

Let’s hope this “… transient burglar who is well-known to authorities…” will be kept behind bars for a long time if for nothing more than committing the theft before the rich players arrived on Wednesday. Nice call on grabbing Tyler Colvin’s pocketbook and passing on Carlos Zambrano’s.

(By the way, who the hell under the age of 25 carries a checkbook these days? Can we get these fellows training on how to use a computer? Or a debit card? How unfortunately retro.)

Posted in baseball, mlb | 3 Comments »

Guess Who’s Back Today?

February 14th, 2008 by Tuffy

Today in Tuffy History: I check back in on the Big Tilde, if only for a moment.

Posted in baseball, mlb | No Comments »

Why We Watch - 2008 Tampa Bay Rays

February 13th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

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Youth Is on the Menu

On most teams, I’ll be privileged to point out one or maybe two young men that could turn the undeniable sex appeal of potential into a full-on stargasm. On the Rays’ roster and in the minors, I can list eight, which is the best collection of young studs outside of one of Paul Lynde’s famed birthday parties:

  • Scott Kazmir, LHP (the Rays are Fortunato to have him) (sorry, Mets fans; that’s not taking the high road after Victor-y) (sorry again)
  • B.J. Upton, CF (you know, your average run-of-the-mill power-and-average-and-speed center fielder star)
  • Carl Crawford, LF (fantasy steals star; get your Vince Coleman-with-a-batting-eye thrill here) (and how much does a fly ball pitcher want this outfield behind him?)
  • Evan Longoria, 3B (I would tell you more about him, but the tears that form every time I see him hit a home run have caused my eyes to well up again and make it difficult to type)
  • David Price, LHP (a lefty with a 94 mph fastball and an 87 mph slider that’s even better)
  • Wade Davis, RHP (98 mph heat and 1-2 other great pitchers makes the loins quiver)
  • Desmond Jennings, CF (three great center fielders in the same system? why not?)
  • Reid Brignac, SS (and a great hitting shortstop that looks agile enough to hold the position)

Each of these young men would be the crown jewel of most minor league farm systems. Here, they’re just putting an awful lot of pressure on the Red Sox and Yankees to not ignore their own development programs in favor of expensive old men.

Tune in any night to lay claim on having seen them early in their careers.
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Posted in baseball, mlb, why we watch | No Comments »

Why We Watch - 2008 MLB Preview

February 13th, 2008 by Tuffy

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I signed up for MLB.tv Mosaic again this week so I can devour as much baseball as possible again this season. This may be a surprise to those of you that have been around the Fridge for awhile, but I recovered from my early sociological issues to enjoy everything that baseball in the 21st Century can offer.

Still, there’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool, especially if you tend to stick to your team or only have a passing interest in baseball.

To help you, I have created a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Now I can’t beat the great coverage provided by other outlets, whether it be in scope, depth, or whatever comes to mind. Therefore, I won’t try.

Instead, these lists will contain all the reasons why I want to watch every team play this season. (Yes, every team.) Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

You are encouraged to join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

Check back every weekday until Opening Day for another team to be listed.

3/10 update: Make that every Mon/Wed/Fri until further notice. I didn’t factor a daily blogging gig into the schedule. Mea culpa.

3/12 update: M/W/F starting 3/17. Taking the weekend to back load pieces. Mea culpa… mas. (Master of languages!)

Posted in baseball, mlb, why we watch | 8 Comments »

Livan Hernandez ‘Lifted to Minnesota

February 12th, 2008 by Tuffy

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Yes, officer.  We’ve been watching Bill Smith come in here to shop for months.  Usually, he just browses, which is what made us initially suspicious. People that just browse without buying every day for four months are usually casing the place.  Y’know, checking where the blind spots are in the camera arrangement, seeing which cashiers are attentive to ticket switching, etc.

We thought we were in the clear when he paid full price for all those prospects in the New York apparel aisles, though.  We did have li’l Timmy Kurkjian shadow him after awhile to let him know we were watching.  After all, we have a lot of shoppers to keep an eye on and we can’t keep wasting time on one guy that doesn’t seem to be doing anything, right?

Then I’m watching the cameras today and damned if I don’t see Smith back in the store again.  Before we can get anyone on the floor, he pulls open his oversized elastic pants, jams Livan Hernandez down the front, and yanks his huge coat down all the way.  Then he tries to make a break for the door, real casual, right?

We start moving towards the front door and he spots li’l Timmy.  He tries to run, but that’s a really big ticket item in his drawers.  He drags his feet and gasps for air.  Dude’s sweating like a sprinkler system just went off in his coat.

Still, we weren’t expecting him to move like that, so we were way behind him.  By the time we got to the door, we thought we had him, but damned if Boof Bonser’s not waiting out front of the store for him in a pickup truck.  Bill drags himself into the truck bed and they’re gone before we can even call you guys.

Yeah, I imagine we’ll catch him in July when he hauls Hernandez out to the flea market to flip him.  Still, that really pisses me off.  We could have sold him for $8m, easy.  That’s gonna ruin our stats for the year.

Posted in baseball, mlb | No Comments »

Will Leitch Book Tour Appearance Report

February 12th, 2008 by Tuffy

My full report, with risque details I do not recommend reading about while at work, follows after the jump.

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Sports Gastronomy: A Recipe for the Heartbroken NFL Fan

February 11th, 2008 by Tuffy

Today in Tuffy History: I show that I really know how to whore myself out to search engines by casually dropping phrases like “Brillat-Savarin”, “field of gastronomy”, and “fondue recipe”. I have no shame and neither should you. (Thanks to the inspiration for my piece.)

Also, there’s no podcast tonight as absolutely nothing happened last weekend. (Actually, both hosts are on the road, but the former makes us sound properly jaded like sportswriters should be.)

Posted in football, nfl | 1 Comment »

Big Baby Vogue

February 10th, 2008 by Tuffy

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C’mon, ABC. Clearly, Glen Davis was having a pretty serious allergy attack that day. Why not let him try again? Clearly, he knows how to pose for a picture:

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Even a casual photo would be better:

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After all, you don’t want to make him mad. It takes a lot to stop him.

Posted in basketball, nba | No Comments »

NBA Trade Deadline Ideas (Early!)

February 8th, 2008 by Tuffy

Today in Tuffy History: I make trade suggestions for every NBA team. Most of them will probably bring federal investigations or, worse, the ire of David Stern. That’s how you know they’re good!

Also, tune into Treehouse Fort tonight to how Matt from Blog-a-Bull reacts to my trade ideas and the NBA season thus far. (Don’t tell him, but it’s actually an intervention.)

Posted in basketball, nba, podcast | No Comments »