Hillary Clinton’s Best Damned Stump Speech

March 5th, 2008 by Tuffy Posted in media, politics |

As reported on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night and covered in detail by Slate’s Mike Madden, Hillary Clinton bought valuable time on the sports digital package in southwest Texas to get her message out just before Election Day Tuesday. Madden points out how she appeared on Fox Sports Southwest:

Squeezed between “Spurs Insider” and the (Astros spring training) game, Clinton’s “Texas-Size Town Hall” and a subsequent rally a few miles out of town were among her final gambits in a state where her double-digit lead turned into an apparent edge for Obama and now, in late polls, a dead heat.

Texas-sized, eh? Everyone knows how Texas sports fans are total size queens when it comes to their Presidential candidates.

Still, the strategy to sandwich her biggest appearance in Texas between two local sports shows was part of a winning plan as Clinton pulled the popular vote in Texas Tuesday and can safely continue her own comeback story through the rest of the primary states.

After the success she had on FSN Southwest, she should seriously consider extending this targeted strategy in the next major battleground of Pennsylvania on April 22nd. Imagine what she could do to rally the Yinzer Mafia before Election Day by appearing on FSN Pittsburgh waving a Terrible Towel and then dabbing a single tear away with it. And what of Philadelphia? If she can throw 10 solid innings of relief between now and late April, Phillies fans will elect her President-for-Life.

So best of luck to Clinton in her Pennsylvania bid. After Obama realizes how Clinton succeed in Texas, he might suit up for the 76ers in their playoff push.  At least his halftime speeches will sound great.

Oh no! You have to throw that down, big man! That’s a horrible stump speech!