Tuffy’s Refrigerator Logic

Angles on a Coaching Prism

June 18th, 2008 by Tuffy

We’ve got a cute li’l photo essay we’ll toss up when we’re actually blogging again, showing how those outside the major media centers reacted to the Celtics win last night, but this photo grabbed our attention while editing this morning:

What’s the difference between Jim Cleamons and Doc Rivers, really? Where did these two men separate from “fairly intelligent and observant journeyman NBA player” into “Phil’s right-hand man” and “emotional leader of the world champion Boston Celtics”?

And, for that matter, what’s the difference between Michael Curry, Vinny Del Negro, and Terry Porter?

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Del Full Monte Circle Gets the Square

June 10th, 2008 by Tuffy

(What, you thought we’d go with a “My Cousin Vinnie” or an “African-American” joke? We enjoy a higher degree of difficulty in our dick jokes. Dick joke diving, if you will.)

Yeah. So. Let’s talk about this.

We were rather stridently against the Doug Collins near-selection because of what it represented: an utterly unoriginal mindset built to withstand failure but not to procure success. This would rather be the opposite on a superficial level. It shows bravery by John Paxson to take on an unknown quantity to lead his last charge up Eastern Conference Hill.

Except, of course, it doesn’t. If we had to guess at this early juncture, we’d take hubris and control for the block.

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Weighty Problem with NBA Coaches

June 5th, 2008 by Tuffy

Color us dense, but we noticed something recently on Pro Basketball Reference while researching The Fall of Flip that we found rather striking: Flip Saunders has a height and weight listing under his coaching profile. (5′11″, 175 lbs. for those of you counting at home.) We couldn’t believe it. This is important information about the coach? Is there a weigh-in day for coaches where George Karl strips to his boxers and wiggles onto the scale? (”Okay… minus the 12 oz of Schlitz in his hand, he’s 6′2″, 185 lbs.… George, put the other foot on the scale. Seriously.”)

We kept checking randomly. Only some coaches have measurements. Allan Bristow, Kevin Loughery, John Lucas, Bill Fitch - yes. Frank McGuire and Jim Boylan - no. Okay, we figured: it’s bleeding through from their player profiles when they were pros. Except, of course, Fitch and Saunders never played in the pros. So maybe college stats? But why track college stats of men that never played in the pros? We’re not sure.

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Posted in basketball, nba, nonsense | No Comments »

Ice Machine - Old and Busted

May 29th, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (since this isn’t likely to be a morning feature for the next two weeks):

Normally, we provide multiple links in this space, providing a bit of a pick-me-up/simple distraction. However, we can only think of one topic today, so we beg your indulgence: Doug Collins is the new head coach of the Chicago Bulls, according to the Chicago Tribune. Yes, he’s also the old head coach before Jordan forced him out.

We have come to a deeply disheartening view of the Bulls and of all Chicago sports we wish to share with you now. We highly recommend sitting down and consuming a calming beverage of your choice before continuing.

To wit: The Chicago Blackhawks are the most innovative sports franchise in Chicago today.

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Posted in baseball, basketball, football, hockey, mlb, nba, nfl, nhl, soccer | 4 Comments »

Daley Should Call Tomorrow a City Holiday

May 20th, 2008 by Tuffy

No one’s getting any work done anyway.

(Now let’s see if Paxson files for an extension with the league to hold the draft in December to give the organization more time to deliberate.)

Posted in basketball, nba | 3 Comments »

Your Game Seven Pre-Game Analysis

May 19th, 2008 by Tuffy

(‘Nuff said.)

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Don’t You Want to Eat Him Up?

May 17th, 2008 by Tuffy

And may Utah’s fans deserve you, too, Deron.

Posted in basketball, nba | 3 Comments »

Wild Animal Captured in Detroit Building

May 14th, 2008 by Tuffy

$Mike Fratello\'s wild animal$

City of Auburn Hills, MI, animal control officials were called to The Palace of Auburn Hills Tuesday night to deal with an infestation of an unknown kind, spotted first by television viewers of the Magic-Pistons game. The creature, approximately five inches long and roughly circular, seemed to be an unnatural yellow color and roosted on color commentator and former head coach Mike Fratello’s head.

Animal control officials were able to approach the beast and corral it for further tests after trapping it under a set of broadcast headphones. Preliminary results suggest the creature is a mammal due to the presence of a womb on the creature and the milky smooth face of Mr. Fratello.

No one was harmed during the incident, though Mr. Fratello would not come out from under the TNT broadcast table until after the arena had been cleared after the game.

Posted in basketball, nba | 4 Comments »

What Made Ben Wallace So Ill in Boston?

May 9th, 2008 by Tuffy

Sounds like Ben Wallace’s allergic reaction to the pre-game fireworks smoke in Boston was worse than previously thought:

“Exams and testing done at The Cleveland Clinic today determined that he has allergies and a viral inner ear infection in his left ear with dizziness. He is currently listed as doubtful for Game 3 versus Boston tomorrow night (Saturday) at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland.”

What on Earth could be in that haze that caused Ben Wallace to not just have an allergic reaction but infect him so badly that he may not play in this series? What could drive Ben Wallace away?