Ice Machine - Overflowing

June 10th, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (drowning in a sea of love):

• Thanks to everyone that joined Chitown Chick for UFC 85.  
• We won’t be able to travel to Vegas like said Chick de Chitown to see the U.S. Freestyle Wrestling Olympic Trials, but we recommend she take some time to visit Las Vegas Chinatown.
• We regret we didn’t have time to take a picture of the golf course we passed in Holland, MI, that received so much rain that its flagsticks were barely visible above the water line.  We don’t know how any sports were played in the upper Midwest last weekend.
• We will be buying the MLB.tv app for our iPhone in about a month to show off shamelessly at the Big Tilde gathering.  We will be the belle of the ball.  We will be drunk.
• She’s Keith Hernandez…’s daughter.  And she’s drunk.
• The Mexican soccer/Chicago Tribune/blogger version of Nelson Muntz.
• The Canadian sports television version of Nelson Muntz.
• The Sports Economist’s version of … oh, you know.
• And since Chitown Chick provides all the content for this blog while we’re away, we steal from her again:

We can’t stop watching it.  We don’t even like Usher.  It’s too much awesome for safe consumption.

Let us make love in this blog post to the Question of the Day (dirty Upper Midwest edition): Have you booked your ark reservation yet?  We’re regretting putting this off now.

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 2 Comments »

Ice Machine - Mojitos for Everyone!

June 6th, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (not fussing in the slightest about that silly malcontent Castro):

• We’re going off the reservation for a few days starting tomorrow, but we’ll be back Tuesday.  We will not be at the Deadspin shindig, sadly; please make sure Leitch doesn’t have to buy a single drink the whole weekend.  However, we have purchased an all-silk ensemble for the weekend.  
• Please do us another favor; we’re leaving the back gate open for Chitown Chick to host a live blog for UFC 85.  It’s yet another event we’re sorry we’ll miss this weekend, but we encourage you to check back in Saturday starting at 3 pm ET.
• Speaking of, we don’t care about Evander Holyfield’s latest money woes, but check out the link itself.  When did SI reorganize its site to create an “MMA and Boxing” category?  When did boxing slide behind the UFC et al?  The world, she is different than when she first nursed me, non?
• We love ”I Spy”.  The article downplays some of the show’s strengths to make its point, but that doesn’t make it any less true.
• Look, if Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney can be a hit, why not Sandra O’Connor: Jammin’ Justice?  (We’ve already assumed it’s a rhythm game since the Supreme Court is now desperate to bring back the rhythm method.)
• Texas Gal always knows the real scoop behind Red Sox antics.
• Fascinating photo of a Korean airliner shot down by Soviets 30 years ago and new details therein.
• We didn’t get to play with underwater robotics when we were in high school, grumble grumble.
• A Friday doube-dose of vidiosity.  First, a fascinating peek back into television sports journalism and a long-ago time that the Royals did not blow:

• And now how we hope to spend our weekend:

Let us shuffle our feet to the Question of the Day (visiting us on a humanitarian visa today): How will you put the lime in the coconut this weekend?

Posted in housekeeping, ice machine, mma, question of the day | 1 Comment »

Ice Machine - Pumpin’ Ice

June 5th, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (as you gnaw on cardboard to save money and raise the glue quotient in your body):

• A tip for Tuffy stalkers: We post in the morning for SPORTSbyBROOKS, give you a nooner here, and try to toss in an afternoon idea each week day.  Tuesdays and Fridays, we cast pods.  Fridays are also Voodoo Sabernomics days.  Tildes and golf posts come as we may.  (For example, see today’s Question of the Day.) We hope this helps you schedule your bathroom breaks accordingly.
• More on the RBI Baseball comeback.  We hope it goes better than Rickey’s.
• Chicago moves on in the 2016 Olympic competition that has absolutely nothing to do with sports and everything to do with money.  Just like how the IOC likes it.
• Mike Gottfried doesn’t owe us such a raw explanation of his charitable activities, but it’s refreshing nonetheless.
• Joe Posnanski boils down the problems with Presidential election coverage into one burning question: whatever happened to that apple salad I liked so much at Applebee’s? Ladies and gentlemen, that’s the best insight into the mind of a sportswriter you’ll likely ever see.
• We’ve been wondering this same question: why bother trying to be drafted into the NBA’s second round when you can go to Europe instead? Except we’ve been wondering, “why bother with one-and-done when you can get paid in Europe and skip college entirely”?
• Baseball nerds will enjoy this.  We watched the video at MLB.tv after reading this piece and agreed completely.
• Michael Kay interviews Snoop Dogg.  The cameras at YES must be industrial-strength to handle both stunning talents in the same shot.  We’re not sure if this blog has been rated as such by OSHA, so no video today.

And the Question of the Day ( ____ in ______ ): Can you fill in the blanks?

Posted in housekeeping, ice machine, question of the day | 2 Comments »

Ice Machine - Clouded Ice

June 4th, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (voted Best Ice Machine for 1934, 1976, and 2001):

• “Newest Club Drug: Preparation H”.  We did the same when we went for 12-hour World of Warcraft sessions, but we didn’t know we were trendsetters.  (We’ve said too much.)
• Chicago tries to make the cut for the 2016 Olympics today.  More on this tomorrow.
• Big Papi’s injury explained using Pikachu.  It works.
• Take a canvas bag to Beijing because it just became more strident than your local Whole Foods.
• Why do northern Illinois police persecute Bob Avellini so?  It’s not that he’s a drunk driver; it’s just hard to hold the wheel with stigmata.
• Make your “Moons Over My Hammy” joke at your own risk.
• Adam Frey is cancer-free.
• Your putrid image of the day: Sam Zell must get a weak little erection every time he thinks up a new way to outsmart the IRS.  That might explain why the tiny prick won’t shut up about his brilliance.
• And since this is our blog and we can indulge however we want, here’s video of Shawn Kemp at that tournament we pictured recently:

And the Question of the Day (which pre-supposes that Joba gets three days off between starts): Did watching Joba Chamberlain start last night cure your herpes?  Uhm… cause we’re just curious.  For a friend.  That we know.  Yes.

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 5 Comments »

Ice Machine - Slushiness

June 3rd, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (going at two miles an hour):

• Generalissimo Doug Collins is still the Bulls coach.  Mostly.  Probably.  Jesus, it must be awful to stand behind John Paxson in line at McDonald’s.
• Rick Reilly, mysteriously available for a quote for a story about how he slayed malaria.  In other news, Rick Reilly starts next week at ESPN.
• Weegee wizardry found in Indiana garage sale by old women in Indiana.  They liked the trunk it was in.  ”…though how you could mistake a Weegee for a family photograph, I don’t know.”
• Everyone will soon stop dying of AIDS and malaria (thanks, Rick!) and will instead die of emphysema and this.
• Channing Frye, honey, stop watching Dr. Phil.  You’re killing us.  And the Trail Blazers.
• Yes, please.  Affirmed.
• And since the gymnast stories have already started filtering out…

And the Question of the Day (special guest reader: Mary Lou Retton’s haircut): How much sleep did you actually get last night after the triple-overtime thriller in the NHL Finals? We slept like swaddled babes, thanks.

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 1 Comment »

Ice Machine - Cool, Calm, and Collected

June 2nd, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (for those of you on the world-famous Ice Diet):

• We’re going to love these commercials the first six times and then want to pound Rajon Rondo with our shoe for the rest of the airings.  We suspect the Finals will pretty much be like this in all facets.
• We’re also easily entertained by this John Smoltz happy ending profile by Steve Hummer.
• We know we’re supposed to care, but we get the joke now.  It’s not funny anymore.  If he wants to keep coming back, fine; we support him.  However, please don’t tell us about it anymore.
• We wrote for SPORTSbyBROOKS on Sunday.  The storied goodness is on the right.
• We see Kyle Busch’s helmet is as big as ours.  Now maybe we should return it.
• No, we didn’t know that about Johnny Damon, either.
• We’ve been trying for days to find a way to work this into one story or another and failed miserably, so here it is:

And the Question of the Day (sponsored by Jack in the Box - Killing careers since 1989): Which former athlete do you wish had lived up to his or her vaunted “potential”?

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 4 Comments »

Ice Machine - Chillin’

May 30th, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (machine crafted ice at the fore):

• Some people would be too good here to settle for a Joe Paterno joke.  We’re not that guy.
• A third of the money made on NHL ticket sales comes from Canada.  However, it’s because of the strong Canadian dollar.  No, really.  Stop snickering, eh?
• The truly rough diamonds in the NBA Draft.  Don’t try to set these anytime soon.
• This one’s pretty much Chitown Chick fanservice.  No apologies here.
• The BBC is both bad and ass.
• Please, baby Rogge, save us from people that don’t understand American geography.  We’d like high speed rail, yes, and we’d also like a pony and a girl in a short skirt and a long jacket.  They can arrive as a set.

And the Question of the Day: When can we get this kid into O’Hare and put them at Hendry’s desk?

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 3 Comments »

Ice Machine - Holiday Spritzer

May 23rd, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you before you start your day (assuming you scored a four-day weekend, too):

• Kellen Winslow, Jr. has a youth football camp.  We’re one step closer to Michael Bay Sports Camp: Where we blow your kids up good.
• The Scream painting has returned from its thievery and damage, smudged but intact.  Now you don’t have to head down to the theater school dorm to see it.
• Why do you think Tony Parker speaks with this OUTRAGEOUS French accent?  (And why is Chris Paul dancing with his date?)
• This one’s pretty much Sussman fanservice. No apologies here.  (Well, Sussman and us; we will pretty much link to any story with Leon Durham in it.)
• Enough with baseball instant replay.  Enough with all instant replay.  We’ve already let loose with our screed on this topic.    However, we did like this bit of spiteful construction at old Yankee Stadium this week.  Very snotty and petulant.  We approve.

And the Question of the Day: When did we get so damned precious with our sports?  What’s with all this call for fairness and perfection and all that?  Was it the money?  Was it the television fame?  Was it the Black Sox?  We really have no idea here, but it’s causing us to chafe in our sitting place.  We’d love to know the answer(s).

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 1 Comment »

Ice Machine - Windows Frosted Over

May 22nd, 2008 by Tuffy

A lousy computer day here has shut down major posting. Tomorrow, however, will be a heavy flow day. Please dress appropriately. There are new SbB posts on the right.

So: Bill Cartwright saved the Illinois legislative process.

And here’s a picture of Emmylou Harris with Roger Clemens that amuses us:

See you all tomorrow.  Stay safe, kids.

Posted in ice machine | 2 Comments »

Ice Machine: Clink Clank, Clink Clank

May 21st, 2008 by Tuffy

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you before you start your day (on this inaugural Chicago bank holiday):

• Light posting day today.  Please feel free to leave red and black streamers on the site until Janitorial  Services arrives.
• The new SI cover combines two of our unnatural passions: Rays and pencils.  Please enjoy.
• Leon Theremin was a badass in a time where badasses got crushed.
• This one’s pretty much J-No fanservice.  No apologies here.
• We needed this one.  We almost fell down this rabbit hole earlier this week. 
• Please watch this brief video.  No sound necessary:

Fairly dull, right?  Just a bit of Pong-esque on YouTube, right?  What if we told you that all of this happened on a space the size of a grain of rice and that little robotic figure is six times smaller than an amoeba?  What if we then told you it’s part of a Nanosoccer tournament?

You may now breathe again.  Carry on.

And the Question of the Day: Let’s get this party started in here.  Rose or Beasley?  The thought of Simeon’s finest playing in the city makes us giddy, but Beasley’s not exactly a slouch.  Hinrich’s only the answer if the question involves increasing turnovers or bowlcuts, but Gooden’s only there because who doesn’t love Dorie?

Posted in ice machine, question of the day | 4 Comments »