We’re Worried About You, Tuffy: #87 in a Series

July 1st, 2008 by Tuffy

Ice Machine’s still busted, but we did a very silly thing today in a different place.  

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Weighty Problem with NBA Coaches

June 5th, 2008 by Tuffy

Color us dense, but we noticed something recently on Pro Basketball Reference while researching The Fall of Flip that we found rather striking: Flip Saunders has a height and weight listing under his coaching profile.  (5′11″, 175 lbs. for those of you counting at home.)  We couldn’t believe it.  This is important information about the coach?  Is there a weigh-in day for coaches where George Karl strips to his boxers and wiggles onto the scale?  (”Okay… minus the 12 oz of Schlitz in his hand, he’s 6′2″, 185 lbs.… George, put the other foot on the scale.  Seriously.”)

We kept checking randomly.  Only some coaches have measurements.  Allan Bristow, Kevin Loughery, John Lucas, Bill Fitch - yes.  Frank McGuire and Jim Boylan - no.  Okay, we figured: it’s bleeding through from their player profiles when they were pros.  Except, of course, Fitch and Saunders never played in the pros.  So maybe college stats?  But why track college stats of men that never played in the pros? We’re not sure.

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Video of Aliens Found: Refrigerator Logic Exclusive!

June 2nd, 2008 by Tuffy

Apparently, the same yutz that wants to start a special city commission in Denver to track and prepare for the the coming alien menace has video of an alien peering through a window of a rural Nebraska home a few years ago:

We, of course, see an uptick in Punisher T-shirts sold in rural Nebraska a few years ago and a trespassing charge for watching teenage girls undress in their own homes.  

(Considering the demographics of this blog, we expect that young man is reading now.  Hey, Ryan!)

We’re, howyousayinyourhumantongue… unconvinced.

However, this may also be because we have seen video evidence of alien life ourselves with much more clarity than any grainy CCTV footage could provide.  We have brought this video to you at great personal risk from a powerful cabal whose sole purpose is to prevent us from delivering this to you.  Look quickly before it disappears forever, along with us:

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When the Going Gets Weird…

May 28th, 2008 by Tuffy

Back soon, true believers. This Tuffy life be hard livin’. Tuffy will tell you someday over drinks. Lots of drinks. (SPORTSbyBROOKS stories still appear on the right.)

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In Lieu of Actual Entertainment

May 16th, 2008 by Tuffy

… here’s a song about waffles:

Actually, this is an excuse to shill for the Treehouse Fort tonight (8 pm ET) and mention that we’ve got a bit in this week’s Voodoo Sabernomics on Babes Love Baseball again.  Ken Griffey, Jr. is poked with pins until he ‘asplodes.

UPDATE: Camp Tiger Claw is on my list.  He knows what he did.  

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We’ll Take Care of the Nicknames, Thanks

May 13th, 2008 by Tuffy

Pictured here is one Nicolas Swisher, getting his fuzzy friend painted for Mother’s Day.  (Hey, we’re not here to judge.)  However, we wanted to take a moment to point out the bill of his cap.  He’s used some kind of gel pen to draw a cross and “D.30″ on it.  The latter is apparently short for “Dirty 30″, his self-styled nickname. 

People, this is why we are in charge of nicknames around here.  First, it’s not cool to assign yourself a nickname.  Second, when you do assign yourself a nickname, you give yourselves crappy ones like “Dirty 30″.  Honestly, “Dirty 30″ next to a cross may be the worst cross-promotional idea since G.I. Joe dated Barbie.

As the master of nicknames, Mr. Swisher, we will take care of giving you a new name.  Your new name shall now be… “Nick Swisher”.  Because you’re in the penalty box for awhile.  No nicknames for you until you’ve learned your lesson about self-naming.  You’re cut off.  

(Like that pink abomination on your chin.  We appreciate it’s for a good cause and all, but the last time we had something like that on our face… well, that was the one and only time we’ll ever attend a bachelorette party.)

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Jostling for the Tiny Crown

May 9th, 2008 by Tuffy

Man, the previous title holder* dies and everyone slugs it out to replace him.

*Totally unproven!  Apology printed!  Didn’t happen!  Not any of those other times, either!  Please don’t hit!

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Hooray Media-Public Disconnect!

May 1st, 2008 by Tuffy

Well done, Chicago Tribune. Well done.

(Note: Now fixed. Still.)

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The Jerk!

April 16th, 2008 by Tuffy

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High in the Tokyo Dome

March 9th, 2008 by Tuffy

While deep down the rabbit hole of Related Videos on YouTube recently, I bumped into the most darling trio of found artifacts from Japan. Someone (apparently a student) from a school in the Kichij?ji neighborhood of Tokyo uploaded three videos of their jazz band tackling Steely Dan’s “Gaucho”.

It’s a delightfully absurd combination of Japanese children playing a song with a Mexican title in an American art form. Also, these teens are covering the work of an an adult duo that often act very childish and perform in a manner that isn’t quite jazz but isn’t quite hardcore rock and/or roll. What on Earth must they make of it all? Read the rest of this entry »

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