Why We Watch - 2008 Houston Astros

March 17th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

Hunter Pence… AND AWAY!

Hunter Pence was riding through the deserts of West Houston last winter with new manager Cecil Cooper when Coop’s 1980 Plymouth Volaré broke down mysteriously, miles from anywhere. Also, their cell phones were dead and Coach’s OnStar just kept giggling at him. What on Earth could be happening?
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Why We Watch - 2008 Chicago White Sox

March 10th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

Welcome to Ozziewood

In honor of the rash of misplaced creativity represented by Dodger Idol, Dancing with the Red Sox, and Who Wants to Buy Me a Stadium Complex, Ozzie decided to organize his own competition to set the final roster this season. Enlisting GM Kenny Williams to be his dawg and coaxing Jay Mariotti out of the house to babble incoherently and lean on his shoulder for support in very public moments, the White Sox put on a show worthy of their talent level.

Of course, we can also glean the best reasons to watch the White Sox yodel this year while checking their pipes out this spring. Also, we can see whose most embarrassing moment involves trying to hit a baseball thrown by a major league pitcher. (We’re looking at you, Pablo Ozuna.)

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Why We Watch - 2008 Minnesota Twins

March 5th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

I Admire Your Notion of Fair Odds

When Joe Mauer found himself besieged on all sides by Tigers and Indians and the Royal guard and very ill-fitting Socks, he set out to find a new band of brothers to help him defend his baggy village after losing so many compatriots over the winter. When he returned, he presented to the villagers…

Joining him on the field of battle are:

• Justin Morneau (the Most Valuable Bat-slinger) and Michael Cuddyer (the gent standing well behind the Most Valuable Bat-slinger on the field) - Two valued warriors from old skirmishes
• Delmon Young - Quick to anger; quick to love; quick to smash the hell out of the baseball
• Mike Lamb and Adam Everett - Joe Mauer knows what the brains in Toronto do: it’s bad luck to break up the left side of the infield, so always import them in pairs (from Houston, in this case)
• Brendan Harris - Sparring with Little Nicky Punto(™ Bat-Girl Enterprises) for a spot on the horse, he has the distinct advantage of knowing which end of the weapon to hold
• Jason Pridie - Can never be photographed

As Mauer knows from painful experience, it matters more who returns from battle than who you go to battle with. Yet each of these men will defend the baggy village with honor… at least until the first lousy home plate umpire rolls into town.
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Why We Watch - 2008 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

March 4th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

Transactional Analysis

These two gentlemen either have an odd sense of fashion or $112 million of Arte Moreno’s money. (Then again, that’s the kind of money that allows your fashion sense to be labeled “eccentric” and not “homeless chic”.)

Torii Hunter’s 5 yr/$90m contract brings his Famous Proven Veteran persona to the Angels, effectively replacing Career Year Wonder persona Gary Matthews, Jr. Both men are wildly overpriced, but this isn’t a concern for baseball fans; Arte can cover the financial bill.

More importantly for viewers, Hunter’s an entertaining player and person. He’s still got enough speed and savvy to track down balls in center and the flair to make it look oh so pretty. He may spend an awful lot of striking out, but one can forgive Moreno for taking a gamble (though one may also wonder why Andruw Jones wasn’t worth the same gamble for fewer years).

The fine fellow to his left is World Series Champion persona Jon Garland, acquired from the White Sox in an exchange of expiring contracts.  He may be only a third starter these days, but he fills a need better than the exiting Orlando Cabrera.  On the other hand, Cabrera was well-liked ’round these greater Los Angeles general area parts and Garland will be expected to succeed immediately.

In both cases, the cost for Moreno will come more from his ego than his wallet.  If another offseason of expensive acquisitions fails to push the Angels out of the first round of the AL playoffs, his ego may have finally written a check that his bank account can’t cash.   Watch to see how both men handle the pressure and the effects of aging on their skills. Read the rest of this entry »

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Why We Watch - 2008 Chicago Cubs

March 3rd, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

It’s Our Anniversary

Twenty years ago, three men not named Tony put together a little band in Oakland that had a few R&B #1 hits and a few top 10 singles. Their infectious beats, snarky lyrics, and soulful grooves set a high standard for their contemporaries.

Twenty years ago, Don Zimmer led the Chicago Cubs to a 77-85 record in the NL East, good enough for fourth place. The team boasted six All-Stars, including the immortal Vance Law, yet could not produce a winning season for the fourth consecutive year. This marked the Chicago National League Ball Club’s eightieth year since their last World Series victory.

In 2008, there is a distinct lack of banners, parades, and commemorative bobbleheads in Chicago to mark the 100th anniversary of that 1908 triumph. (Well, not on the North Side, at least.) Still, you can expect every national announcer to mention this ignoble achievement during each Cubs broadcast.

If we’re supposed to believe men that have been selected over time for the ability to succeed at the highest level with extraordinary amounts of stress heaped upon them by their loved ones and authority figures could suddenly seize up when faced with a fastball in September, you can only imagine the size of the ham sandwich the Brewers must be building for the Cubs to represent the choke job required to lose the division in their hundredth attempt.

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Why We Watch - 2008 Atlanta Braves

February 29th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

Reunion Tour

This is the year of the homecoming Brave. In an unexpected move, the Braves invited Javy Lopez to camp. Lopez came in this spring with a story of hope about committing himself to his catching prowess in the offseason and hoping to back up Brian McCann this year. Braves fans could not be more thrilled to see him again in the ol’ warpaint and have been cheering him endlessly. If you have a lazy afternoon and a bit of a nostalgic heart, tune in to see if Javy’s behind the plate in Atlanta. Braves fans will reward you for your time; hopefully, he’ll do the same in return.

However, the big reacquisition has to be Tom Glavine in a one-year farewell (?) national tour. After breaking hearts four years ago by traveling to the NL East rivals in Flushing, he returns for a final lap around the mound. While it’s likely at this point that he will be headlining an oldies show with little chance at a #1 album, he still has the same old needs just like any traveling band of warriors.

As part of his $8m contract this year, he has full run of a suite on the road. Of course, any good performer has specific requests for his tour. In a Refrigerator Logic exclusive, we’ve secured part of his rider for the suite, pictured below.

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Why We Watch - 2008 Cincinnati Reds

February 28th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

You Do What You Do, Right?

Dusty Baker could not be more of a known quantity if he were defined by wavelengths of the orange-red line. He’s precisely what you expect when you hire him: he hates anything invented or discovered before he turned 35. He believes runs are driven in through burly effort, not a result of having men on base. He believes young pitchers were placed on this earth for him to bury mercilessly. He has a keen understanding of genetics. As Christina Kahrl points out repeatedly at Baseball Prospectus, he knows how to use his son as a human shield at press conferences.

He’ll change course only after ramming into the brick wall a few times. He will always favor the older man, single-handedly turning back age discrimination trends in America. He enjoys long walks in the park as long as they’re not with his batters. He’ll happily admit wrong as long as it’s yours.

And, hey, he’s great for a quote and/or an ejection. That’s quality viewing, right?

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Why We Watch - 2008 Texas Rangers

February 27th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

I’m a Goddamn Marvel of Modern Science

You’re Frank Catalanotto.  You’ve got a great shot at a starting slot in left field for a major league ballclub at the age of 34.  Admittedly, it doesn’t promise to be a successful year for the team, but it ought to be a fine season for you.  You trot out to a standing ovation for your Texas Rangers for your home opener.  How fantastic, right?

You glance to your left to see who will be protecting this well-kept ground with you today and you see Josh Hamilton.  Yes, that Josh Hamilton.  The one that spent 2002-2005 with “undisclosed off-field problems” that came in smokable, ingestible, and injectable forms and led to an indefinite suspension from his only viable place of employment.  You were pretty happy for the guy when he was scooped up by the Reds from the Cubs in the Rule 5 Draft last season and crushed the ball.  I mean, hey, there but for the grace of God, right?

But now he’s right over there to your left and he’s got a pretty wild-eyed look to him and you’re not really sure where this guy’s gonna be from play to play, much less September.  You swallow hard.

Then you keep looking past Hamilton and you see this massive human being that walks with a bit of a limp.  When you realize it’s Milton Bradley, you’re not sure if the limp is from his right ACL tear or the weight distribution from the massive chip on his right shoulder.  He’s got a full deck of incentives in his contract to stay healthy and not attack every authority figure perceived to be in his way, but you’re not completely positive he’s playing with all those cards shuffled in.

Sure, dude wants to win, but he wants to win his way or the highway.  You can kinda see the highway from here for him.  You move a little closer to the left field foul line.

Better keep an eye on this outfield, you think; anything could happen.  The first crack of the bat of the season rifles through your ears and you turn your attention to the ball.

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Why We Watch - 2008 St. Louis Cardinals

February 26th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

No Point in Being Cute in an Ugly Situation

This is the best reason to watch the St. Louis Cardinals every season:

Albert Pujols has nursed a series of injuries that would fell most elephants and many Fielders on the way to compiling the following numbers in seven full seasons: 1091 games played, .332/.420/.620, 282 home runs, 592 walks against 452 strikeouts, one World Series ring.

He is allegedly 28 years of age this year and could possibly keep this up for another decade or so. Simply put, Albert Pujols is appointment television. If he comes to your town, show up early for batting practice. Watching him put ball after ball into the upper deck in center field at Oakland Coliseum should put to rest any concerns you have about the virility and power of the human race. You would be forgiven if you applied your newfound faith into the nearest cult with predominantly red robes.

If you have a fantasy baseball team and someone in your league ever utters the phrase “… trading Albert Pujols for…”, you turn around and punch their nose into their skull. It doesn’t matter how that sentence ends. It could end with “… to secure the funds to finance the final clinical trials for a cure for AIDS” and it would still be a massively unfair trade.

It’s been said that catching an Albert Pujols home run will cure leprosy. (Of course, losing a leprous arm while tussling for an Albert Pujols home run is not covered by this miracle. Please check your ticket for more information.) When Albert Pujols catches a baseball, the ball unravels in excitement. This also happened in 2005 when a young woman tripped down the dugout steps at Miller Park.

In other words, he’s pretty good.

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Why We Watch - 2008 Boston Red Sox

February 25th, 2008 by Tuffy

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

The Most Important Person for the Boston Red Sox Is…

Since most people are familiar with the Boston Red Sox and their two World Series titles in 2004 and 2007, let’s concentrate on a slightly more obscure reason to watch the Red Sox this season. With all the stars of Boston baseball well known by now, focus your viewing energy on the most important man for the Boston Red Sox this season…
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