Yeah.  So.  Let’s talk about this.

We were rather stridently against the Doug Collins near-selection because of what it represented: an utterly unoriginal mindset built to withstand failure but not to procure success.  This would rather be the opposite on a superficial level.  It shows bravery by John Paxson to take on an unknown quantity to lead his last charge up Eastern Conference Hill. 

Except, of course, it doesn’t.  If we had to guess at this early juncture, we’d take hubris and control for the block.  

One of our favorite rumors of the selection process (which received its 10-year plaque last week; congratulations and enjoy the new steak knives!) involved Reinsdorf forcing Collins down Paxson’s throat and Paxson refusing to accept direction from above, instead choosing to drag out the selection process until Collins or Reinsdorf caved.

We have no concrete reason to believe this was true other than it fits the story so far quite well.  Paxson has been deliberate to the point of gridlock in nearly every major decision affecting the franchise since his ascension to the general manager post.  We had previously associated this trait with the distinct scent of waffles that drifted from his office each morning.  Now we suspect he just really likes waffles and demands them each morning with exactly 8 oz. of syrup.  No more, no less.

Del Negro represents an unknown quantity completely beholden to Paxson.  If he succeeds, Paxson will be a genius (or, more accurately for him, revealed to be the genius he already knows himself to be).  If he doesn’t… what did you all expect from a no-name coach?  Besides, he won’t fail.

We sincerely wish Del Negro the best in his new position and will help out where we can.  (Where do the towels go, chief?)  However, we do not see this as bright new thinking in a bold new direction.  We see someone in power taking on a “character guy” lackey he can control completely in the face of an unruly mob in desperate need of strong guidance.  That’s not exactly a new tale.

In other words, we’ve gone from getting Scott Skiles twice in a row to the return of Tim Floyd.  Sam Smith’s blog posts for the next three seasons are already queued.

(One point that bothers us about our own admittedly facile analysis: Tim Floyd was much more the huckster than Del Negro seems to be.  We really do wish we could have seen that interview between Paxson and Del Negro.  Do you think they went fishing?)

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (since this isn’t likely to be a morning feature for the next two weeks):

Normally, we provide multiple links in this space, providing a bit of a pick-me-up/simple distraction.  However, we can only think of one topic today, so we beg your indulgence: Doug Collins is the new head coach of the Chicago Bulls, according to the Chicago Tribune.  Yes, he’s also the old head coach before Jordan forced him out.  

We have come to a deeply disheartening view of the Bulls and of all Chicago sports we wish to share with you now.  We highly recommend sitting down and consuming a calming beverage of your choice before continuing.

To wit: The Chicago Blackhawks are the most innovative sports franchise in Chicago today.

The Chicago Bulls have selected two high-strung defensive-minded coaches with short coaching life spans in a row.  They will select Michael Beasley in the draft because big men are always drafted when possible because That’s the Way It Is.  There will be grit and determination and heart and Derrick Rose will become the second point guard to leave Chicago and become a star in Miami.  (Star Jones has cleared her schedule in 2011.)

The Chicago Cubs installed Jim Edmonds in center field.  Their business innovations have involved allowing their head of marketing to be stolen by the Blackhawks (along with his key lieutenants) while trying to sell the naming rights to Wrigley Field, which is an incredibly old and played-out idea.  Their drafts have been unremarkable, highlighted by an attempt to draft a Notre Dame wide receiver because he throws so darned hard and isn’t that sexy?

The most creative thought held by a Cubs official in the last few years has been to try to sell Wrigley Field to the state to handle all the upgrades.  However, “highway robbery” has a long tradition unto itself.

The Chicago White Sox had a case to move to the head of the class in 2005 and possibly 2006, but now they are repeating the same mistakes in the draft and on the field without any self-awareness.  They would still win this anemic competition for their Carlos Quentin fixation last winter, which showed the ability to project past the problems and towards the solutions.

The Chicago Bears… if anyone has broken the key and deduced their plan involving building an offense or keeping an aging defense functional, please contact us by calling the station.  Thanks for your time.  (Also, we liked their recent draft, but we don’t know if we’d call it mold-breaking.  Their marketing has been yeoman-like but not exceptional.  They’re just… y’know… there.)

However, the Chicago Blackhawks have truly stepped forward in the last 12-18 months into solid competency.  The on-ice product has improved and shows signs of continuing to do so.  The off-ice marketing has proved at least interesting, with cross-sport promotion between the baseball teams in town and the Blackhawks.  Their games are on television, for crying out loud.  The new commercials have been well-focused and thoughtfully positioned.  They’re the only franchise in the city with organic buzz not built from getting really really lucky with ping-pong balls in a way that doesn’t involve Winona Ryder.

We could also argue the Chicago Fire have shown better innovation, especially with the Blanco signing, but their front office disarray and loss of goalkeepers leaves us uncertain at the moment.  Consider this an incomplete grade.

Therefore, we can only conclude the Wirtz-led franchise leads the pack in innovation.  The other franchises may succeed with their actions, but it will not be because they chose the right path after carefully considering many thoughtful and/or pioneering options.  It will be because they worked the checklist of What Should Be Done pathologically and got lucky.  That’s as entertaining as trainspotting.  (No, not that kind.)

Our Question of the Day should be obvious by now: What’s your choice for the most innovative sports franchise in Chicago today?

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you before you start your day (on this inaugural Chicago bank holiday):

• Light posting day today.  Please feel free to leave red and black streamers on the site until Janitorial  Services arrives.
• The new SI cover combines two of our unnatural passions: Rays and pencils.  Please enjoy.
• Leon Theremin was a badass in a time where badasses got crushed.
• This one’s pretty much J-No fanservice.  No apologies here.
• We needed this one.  We almost fell down this rabbit hole earlier this week. 
• Please watch this brief video.  No sound necessary:

Fairly dull, right?  Just a bit of Pong-esque on YouTube, right?  What if we told you that all of this happened on a space the size of a grain of rice and that little robotic figure is six times smaller than an amoeba?  What if we then told you it’s part of a Nanosoccer tournament?

You may now breathe again.  Carry on.

And the Question of the Day: Let’s get this party started in here.  Rose or Beasley?  The thought of Simeon’s finest playing in the city makes us giddy, but Beasley’s not exactly a slouch.  Hinrich’s only the answer if the question involves increasing turnovers or bowlcuts, but Gooden’s only there because who doesn’t love Dorie?

No one’s getting any work done anyway.

(Now let’s see if Paxson files for an extension with the league to hold the draft in December to give the organization more time to deliberate.)

JUST KEEP SHOOTING
JUST KEEP SHOOTING
JUST KEEP SHOOTING SHOOTING SHOOTING

Please to be enjoying an AP writer with likely Cleveland ties working the long season in his or her own way, thankyouverymuch:

“I’m happy with (the trade to the Bulls),” (Larry Hughes) said. “We did a lot of winning in Cleveland and I gained a lot of good experience, but I was definitely ready for a change. I like the position I’m in now.”

Yes, it is indeed better to exchange all that winning experience for a new position.

Pacers guard Travis Diener wasn’t surprised by Hughes’ big night.

“He’s a good player,” Diener said. “There’s a reason he has a big contract. They don’t just throw money away to (bad) players.”

Please excuse Travis; the Pacers haven’t played the Knicks since February 6th.

Mike Dunleavy had 25 points, Diener scored 22 and Troy Murphy chipped in 19…

Hahahahhahahaahhaha… that’s great. How ridiculous would it really be if… oh. Really? Wow. Maybe there is just corn in Indiana.

Postscript: In today’s Bulls-Magic New Year’s Eve game, the pattern held to soul-crushing results. The worst possible scenario played out and even Bill Wennington mugging for the HD cameras couldn’t save Bulls fans from their Debbie Downer evening.

Boylan put the Noah/Thomas duo out on the floor for the first time in his tenure… for three minutes in the second quarter. Those three vainglorious minutes were sandwiched by the usual suspects: a seven-man rotation noted for its basketball intellect and Proven Veteran goodness (or, more likely, the top seven trade suspects). Gordon ran up 40+ minutes with the assistance of overtime, sinking 16 of 27 shots on his way to 39 points. All of this makes Boylan look the genius in a close loss to perhaps the best team in the East (yes, I see you there, Boston).

Again, it’s false vindication for a flawed strategy. If the Bulls had won, Bulls fans could have taken momentary joy in the victory before sinking back into 2007-2008 seasonal depression. If they had lost big, it questions hiding the young talent.

Instead, it’s coming up roses for at least one Illinois coach this week. The rest of us? This hangover won’t go away after January 1st.