Posts Tagged ‘chicago cubs’

Ice Machine – Old and Busted

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Here’s a clear shot from the daily Ice Machine, with crystal blue linkage of stories that will refresh you during your lunch break (since this isn’t likely to be a morning feature for the next two weeks):

Normally, we provide multiple links in this space, providing a bit of a pick-me-up/simple distraction.  However, we can only think of one topic today, so we beg your indulgence: Doug Collins is the new head coach of the Chicago Bulls, according to the Chicago Tribune.  Yes, he’s also the old head coach before Jordan forced him out.  

We have come to a deeply disheartening view of the Bulls and of all Chicago sports we wish to share with you now.  We highly recommend sitting down and consuming a calming beverage of your choice before continuing.

To wit: The Chicago Blackhawks are the most innovative sports franchise in Chicago today.

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Sir? Remember Me, Sir?

Thursday, May 15th, 2008


Hello?  Hello, Mr. Piniella?  Hi, this is Matt Murton.

Matt Murton. 

Ma… yes, I used to play for you.  

No, not in Tampa.  In Chicago.  Remember me from spring training?

Yes, the ginger kid.  Anyway, I just wanted to check in with you and see if you needed my help for anything around the Cubs this week.

Oh, no reason, except I heard you just hired a dead man to start in the outfield for the Cubs.  I thought maybe you forgot about us down he…

No no, sir!  No, sir.  He’s not really dead.  It’s just… he’s not very good anymore.  He hasn’t hit for years and I think his defensive range can be measured by the specs on his Rascal.

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Why We Watch – 2008 Chicago Cubs

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

There’s 200 days or so of baseball to come this season and it can be quite intimidating to jump into the deep end of the baseball viewing pool.

To help, Refrigerator Logic is providing a list of reasons to watch every Major League Baseball team for the 2008 season. Anyone that’s read all the team lists should be able to pull up the MLB schedule on any day in early June and find reasons to enjoy any contest on the board that night.

Please join in the comments to add your own reasons. Tell everyone why your team is worth three and a half hours of their lives on any given day. Make us care and we’ll be there with a tasty beverage and an appreciation for what you feel each time your team takes the field.

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It’s Our Anniversary

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Twenty years ago, three men not named Tony put together a little band in Oakland that had a few R&B #1 hits and a few top 10 singles. Their infectious beats, snarky lyrics, and soulful grooves set a high standard for their contemporaries.

Twenty years ago, Don Zimmer led the Chicago Cubs to a 77-85 record in the NL East, good enough for fourth place. The team boasted six All-Stars, including the immortal Vance Law, yet could not produce a winning season for the fourth consecutive year. This marked the Chicago National League Ball Club’s eightieth year since their last World Series victory.

In 2008, there is a distinct lack of banners, parades, and commemorative bobbleheads in Chicago to mark the 100th anniversary of that 1908 triumph. (Well, not on the North Side, at least.) Still, you can expect every national announcer to mention this ignoble achievement during each Cubs broadcast.

If we’re supposed to believe men that have been selected over time for the ability to succeed at the highest level with extraordinary amounts of stress heaped upon them by their loved ones and authority figures could suddenly seize up when faced with a fastball in September, you can only imagine the size of the ham sandwich the Brewers must be building for the Cubs to represent the choke job required to lose the division in their hundredth attempt.

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Good thing Prince Fielder’s a vegetarian now.

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Chicago Cubs Victim of Theft; Carl Crawford Produces Alibi

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
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Three Chicago Cubs players were victims of a burglary suspect who is accused of stealing from several Mesa businesses over almost a four month span, police said…. The Cub players were pitcher Jeff Samardzija, catcher Jake Fox and outfielder Tyler Colvin. Police said all three players had personal items stolen, which included checkbooks, cell phones and credit cards.”

Considering Samardzija’s contract, I think this falls under “turnabout is fair play”. Still, the three victims probably don’t find it terribly amusing, so the best to them after an unsettling invasion into their privacy that even Baseball America would be ashamed of.

Still, you have to hand it to the mastermind behind this daring theft; he really knows how to choose his victims.

“[The moron] was also accused of stealing from the Save the Family Foundation … on Oct. 19, 2007, police said.”

Strike my last.

Let’s hope this “… transient burglar who is well-known to authorities…” will be kept behind bars for a long time if for nothing more than committing the theft before the rich players arrived on Wednesday. Nice call on grabbing Tyler Colvin’s pocketbook and passing on Carlos Zambrano’s.

(By the way, who the hell under the age of 25 carries a checkbook these days? Can we get these fellows training on how to use a computer? Or a debit card? How unfortunately retro.)