Previously posted on DeadOn; moved here for posterity.
Welcome to a new feature where I assist the needy and oblivious for cash and prizes! This one’s from the archives, but I welcome your questions as well.
“Dear Tuffy,
How do I know if the boy I like likes me back? When should I let him go to second base?
Thanks!
Signed,
Pathetic”
This topic still roils debate for all ages. Superstitions and traditions abound. “Wait until the third date to score.” “Good girls don’t do that.” “I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.”
Normally, I wouldn’t tackle such a difficult topic in this limited space. However, no one has cast a truly analytical eye to the issue.
(Also, things are pretty dead around here on Sundays.)
With Opening Day a few hours away, this seems the perfect time to address this vexing issue. Using the performance analysis tools that brought us “Moneyball”, the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox, and conniption fits by Joe Morgan, I will demonstrate when a girl should let a boy head to second with a face-first slide (previously shown to be less likely to lead to injury than other slides).
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